Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
