'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
