I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
birth control should be required to get into college
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
