Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
