doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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