I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We had sex on a dog bed..
The power of my boobs compel you
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
