He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
