I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
is it fun? or sober?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
