those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
