do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize