Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
