all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
