That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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