i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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