She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize