so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
