so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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