Is it normal to miss your booty call?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize