He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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