So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
