Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
