is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
