When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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