I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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