Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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