drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
