Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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