you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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