mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize