The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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