Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
