i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
