So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
