It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
