I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
