Three words: puerto rican gang bang
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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