Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
