i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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