I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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