I accidentally burped into my bong.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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