4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
We won't sleep together?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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