omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
