# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
