People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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