I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
