"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
