hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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