I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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