lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
