We tried having a conversation with our noses.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
And then my night got REAL pukey
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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