After last night, I could never be a politician.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
