At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
