And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
