Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize