Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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