She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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