yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
