Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
