dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
