I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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