Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
