I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
