This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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