That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
