So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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