i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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