is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My pussy is not your playground.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
